This page will outline my behavior-change and personal transformation approach. My behavior-change approach can be called “The Joy Method”. My personal transformation approach can be called “Joy Therapy”.
Introduction
It’s my belief that behavior-change, when approached correctly, should be a simple and painless process. The problem with most behavior-change and habit formation approaches out there is that they start with a desired behavior first, and then recommended tricks and tactics that, in theory, can help make those behaviors stick.
All of these approaches are doomed to fail. Why? Because they start with the wrong step. The behavior should not be the starting point of any behavior-change process. The goal is where one should always start. There are hundreds, if not thousands, of ways to accomplish a given goal, and so it’s foolish to assume that any one approach is correct. The most effective way to achieve a goal is going to vary depending on a variety of factors:
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the context of the individual who wishes to change
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the interests of the individual who wishes to change
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the skills and talents of the individual who wishes to change
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the likes and dislikes of the individual who wishes to change
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the other personal preferences of the individual who wishes to change
In order for an individual to successfully and sustainably change their behavior, all of these factors need to align. I’ll give you a quick example below.
Let’s say that an individual wants to lose weight. There are a variety of different ways to achieve this goal. Here are a few examples:
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Exercise
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Running
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Tennis
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Basketball
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Swimming
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Weight lifting
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Yoga
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Biking
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Cycling (Soul Cycle, etc.)
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HIIT (Orange Theory, Barry’s, etc.)
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Soccer
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Football
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Hockey
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Surfing
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Roller Blading
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Ice Skating
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Etc.
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Dieting
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Eating fewer sweets
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Intermittent fasting
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Eating more vegetables
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Etc.
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Medication
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Semaglutide
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Thyroid hormone (if thyroid disorder is present)
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Etc.
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If an individual wants to lose weight but lives 45 minutes away from a gym or pool, they probably shouldn’t choose weight lifting, or swimming, as one of their behaviors. That’s an example of an individual’s context not supporting a given behavior.
Let’s say that same individual really dislikes running and has always been clumsy with their hands. In that case, running, basketball, tennis, football, and hockey would also be bad choices. These behaviors conflict with this individual’s likes and talents/skills.
This leaves us with the following options:
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Exercise
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Yoga
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Biking
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Cycling (Soul Cycle, etc.)
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HIIT (Orange Theory, Barry’s, etc.)
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Soccer
-
Surfing
-
Roller Blading
-
Ice Skating
-
Etc.
-
-
Dieting
-
Eating fewer sweets
-
Intermittent fasting
-
Eating more vegetables
-
Etc.
-
-
Medication
-
Semaglutide
-
Thyroid hormone (if thyroid disorder is present)
-
Etc.
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This individual should choose one of these behaviors, try it, and see whether or not it’s enjoyable. If it’s enjoyable, they should keep doing it. If not, they should try something else until they find a behavior that they actually like. This is the entire concept behind my behavior-change and habit-formation method—pick the right behavior and everything else is easy.
It’s my belief that this approach should extend to every area of life. People should be reexamining every area of their lives, clearly expressing their goals, and using their self-insight to figure out how to accomplish those goals while experiencing as much joy and happiness as possible. I call this “Joy Therapy”.
It’s nearly impossible to not be successful and to not be happy if you’re filling your life with activities you enjoy that also bring you closer to your goals.
The hard part of all this is gaining self insight, so that you’re able to do less trial-and-error and choose the right behavior the first time. In The Joy Method, most of the up front work is geared towards increasing self awareness. This is done through a variety of different methods that are tailored to your needs: journaling, conversations with friends and family, personality assessments, exercises/worksheets, and meditation.
Once you have an objective, clear understanding of yourself and your situation, you’ll be able to determine the right approach for each of your goals.
